WHERE'S MY HOVERCAR!!!????

So I keep getting the Credo "fight for [insert important cause]" emails and this one about preventing Congress approving more deep shore oil drilling really struck me. So I "edited" (read: erased) the tree-hugging message they supplied and wrote my own. Maybe someone important will see it and say, "Huh, I didn't think about this whole oil thing like that". Anyway, below is what I wrote.

I have to say, when I was a kid during the 80s and seeing the promises of technology being shown on TV and in the movies, I really didn't consider the fact that our dependency on oil is what would hold us back from reaching some of those goals. The reason I say that is steps in providing America, let alone the world, with an electric or non-fossil fuel using car have been more or less stymied by the oil industry. We are still dependent on oil, a susbstance that has a lifespan due to how much we consume. It's long past time America and the world as a whole move on to fuels or technologies that will do the same work without continuing to harm the environment and ourselves. The recent oil spill in the Gulf is a prime example on at least WHY we should begin the weaning phase from oil. It was a stepping stone that has brought us a long way technologically. Imagine how much further we can go when we 'cut the apron strings' (as it were) on our dependence on oil and embrace better fuels and technologies. And there are other benefits to really pushing America away from fossil fuels in the sense that more research and development means more jobs, more innovation. It'll help drive bigger, broader forms of education that'll really inspire the minds of the younger generations to reach further than their parents and grandparents. Getting away from fossil fuels will ultimately broaden our horizons and help put America back at the forefront of technology. So, please, help America get away from oil by not funding more drilling. Because eventually there won't be anywhere left to drill. And if we are still dependent on oil for everything, that means we will have reached our limit as well.

A Geek's Bed Time Story

For those of you who don't know, Becca is traveling back and forth to Taylorsville, MS to help take care of her mother, who's suffering from both leukemia and breast cancer. In the meantime, Becca works from home a lot, and often late into the night. As such, I'm usually up late at night with her, chatting online (I just got a new job, though, so I won't be able to do that during the week anymore). This one particular night, Becca asked me to 'read her a bedtime story'. At the time, I was trying to fix a Dell PowerEdge server for one of my old bosses and it wasn't booting properly. Mad at the machine, I decided to vent my frustration and at the same time provide some entertainment.

Here is "The Rebellious 600SC" as taken from that night's chat.

me: There once was a Dell Poweredge 600SC that never wanted to boot into an OS b/c it didn't want to grow up and become a real computer.
Sent at 11:25 PM on Friday

Rebecca: O_O

me: This Poweredge 600SC was so rotten in not wanting to become a real PC that it turned down offers to be upgraded, and reveled in it's ancient hardware.

Rebecca: reveled, eh?

me: "Ha, ha! I don't want to be made to do nothing but run DHCP and DNS services all day!" the little server raged. "Oh, how I wish someone would use me as a personal PC; one that they gamed on, maybe even used to look at naughty pictures..." the server thought and wished.
What, did I spell it wrong?

Rebecca: no
please continue

me: One day, the Sysadmin got tired of the little machine; bought a newer, faster and more powerful server and shelved the little 600SC in the back of the server room. This was a frightening place where all useless, outdated and relatively bad servers and PCs go to live out their days; forgotten and covered in dust and silt.

Rebecca: oooo...sad....

me: "Oh no! Where did the Sysadmin put me?" the little server cried. "Why you are in the deepest recesses of the server room, noob! Here no one will ever boot you again!" an old Sun SPARC server cried. "Oh, if only I hadn't gotten so old as to not be upgraded anymore..."
"What's so great about being upgraded?!" the little server yelled. "That just gives the Sysadmin a reason to make you work!"
Silence met the little server for such an outrageous proclamation.

Rebecca: what a little prick he is!

me: "THEN WHAT WAS YOUR PURPOSE FOR EXISTING IF YOU WEREN'T GOING TO WORK!!!????" the old SPARC server spat, accompanied by the choruses of other older machines. "No wonder you were shoved back here!" an IBM BladeX server yelled. "He should have his CPU pulled!" the ancient SiliconGraphics server demanded.
At this rate, the little 600SC knew that it had overstepped its bounds; though it may have never wanted to work, that doesn't mean that there were machines who thought like it did.

Rebecca: uh huh uh huh

me: The crowd started to harass the little server until a small voice spoke up. "Maybe 600SC wants another purpose?" spoke the little Apple II desktop. "Maybe 600SC wants to work for someone rather than a whole organization?"

Rebecca: leave it to Apple to have a level head! I like this story.

me: "Venerable Elder," a perky Dell Inspiron said, "since 600SC and I come from the same manufacturer, maybe I can help him find his way?"

Rebecca: ooooo! it's like the Guiding Spirit!

me: "Splendid idea, Inspiron!" said Apple II. "Teach 600SC all he will need to know so that he may be repurposed to this new line of life."

Rebecca: I'll bet he's got a deep gravelly voice and a long white beard!
me: Who, the Apple II?
Rebecca: yuuup
me: Eh, something like that. Whatever a gravely voice sounds like in binary.
Rebecca: gravelly binary...hmmmm....
me: lol
Rebecca: gonna need you to copy/paste this story into your blog, btw
me: *rolls eyes
Rebecca: you're an incredible story teller
me: lol OK

me: So, after much tutelage in the ways of being a personal PC as instructed by the Inspiron, the time came for the 600SC to find a new owner.

Rebecca: kinda like a puppy

me: One day, when the SysAdmin came into the server room looking for a good machine for a new employee, he realized that the only thing he could do is probably build a new machine from some scrap parts laying around in the server room.
"You know, there's that old 600SC that I could never get to work. I wonder if I scrapped all the add on cards in it, gave it a new motherboard and reused the CPU and RAM that's already in it, I could make a decent desktop."
With this in mind, the SysAdmin began the task of ordering the new parts and sent one of the Junior SysAdmins to gather them.

Rebecca: the plot thickens...

me: While waiting on the new parts, the SysAdmin went into the server room and searched for the old 600SC.
"I could have sworn that piece of junk was lying somewhere around here...oh here it is, near the front. Hm, that's odd, I thought I put it in the corner with the old SPARC..."
Not thinking anymore on the topic, the SysAdmin grabbed the little server, brought it to his workbench and began the ardous task of removing the motherboard and add-on cards.

me: The little 600SC was very nervous. However, the little server remembered one of the Inspiron's favorite sayings: "The SysAdmin just wants us to work; he cares not for what task, only that we perform the task and perform it well. And, I think, perform that task happily."

Rebecca: I think the apple would smoke a pipe
me: A pipe?
Well, maybe an old coaxial cable.
Rebecca: *nods

me: So, for the first time, the 600SC did not struggle. "Hm, usually this case is (expletive deleted) to get open..." the SysAdmin marveled. "Oh well, must mean I picked the right one."

me: By the time the SysAdmin had removed the necessary parts, the Junior SysAdmin returned with a new motherboard that was compatible with the processor and RAM of the 600SC, a new solid-state 300GB hard drive, new video and sound cards, and a new OS. "Hope this works, boss." the Jr. SysAdmin said. "This machine has been REAL picky before." "Yeah, I thought so too, but I'm pretty confident the new parts will work and we'll finally get our money's worth out of this machine" said the SysAdmin.

me: After about an hour's worth of work, the SysAdmin was finished. "Ok, let's turn it on and install the OS. Noob over there wants Windows 7", he said, rolling his eyes.

Rebecca: heh...noob...
*crosses fingers

me: Once the SysAdmin turned on the machine and began the install, both he and the Jr. SysAdmin were shocked! Never had this machine moved so quickly; not only that, it was actually installing! It was working! "Hm, should have done this a long time ago" the Jr. SysAdmin said. "Looks like this machine will work a lot better and happier now."

me: Once the install was finished, the Jr. SysAdmin setup the little 600SC with a brand new 23-inch monitor, optical mouse and keyboard. Finally, little 600SC was a desktop and awaiting for the arrival of its new owner/user.

Rebecca: *applause

me: "Oh wow, The Company really went out of its way to give me a good graphical machine" the newly hired engineer stated. "Designing in AutoCAD, and doing some fun stuff in Photoshop should be a breeze on such a fast system."

Rebecca: wooooah!
it can do all that?
me: Well, it can now.
the piece of junk in the living room, however, will not let me install an OS.
Rebecca: =(

me: Upon booting the little 600SC happened to overhear what the young engineer said and was overjoyed. "Someone wants to actually use me! And for his own purposes as well!" The little server was overjoyed, for it had finally found its purpose. Though it still had to work, but, just as the Inspiron had taught him, given time a user will always want to use his PC for fun.
And for many years (well, many years in the lifespan of a PC), that is exactly what the little 600SC and the engineer did; worked and had fun.
Sent at 12:12 AM on Saturday

The End

Rebecca: *applause!
*three cheers!
*woohooo!
*great story!

*Note: if you didn't know, my wife is a fan of the cheese...*

My thoughts on the oil spill

So, not only is the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico considered the worst in U.S. history, it could probably be argued as one of the top (if not THE) worst human-caused environmental disasters EV4R.

So to commerate such a momentous occasion (Go Team BP!) I have written a little song. Sung to the tune of "Hole in the Bottom of the Sea".

"Would'ja like ta hear it? Aight, here it goes..."

There's a hole in the bottom of the Gulf,
There's a hole in the bottom of the Gulf,
There's a hole, there's a hole,
There's a hole in the bottom of the Gulf.

There's a pipe in the hole
In the bottom of the Gulf,
There's a pipe in the hole
In the bottom of the Gulf,
There's a pipe, there's a pipe,
There's a pipe in the hole
In the bottom of the Gulf.

There's a hole in the pipe in the hole
In the bottom of the Gulf,
There's a hole in the pipe in the hole
In the bottom of the Gulf,
There's a hole, there's a hole,
There's a hole in the pipe in the hole
In the bottom of the Gulf.

There was a drill in the hole in the pipe
In the hole in the bottom of the Gulf,
There was a drill in the hole in the pipe
In the hole in the bottom of the Gulf,
There was a drill, there was a drill,
There was a rig in the hole in the pipe
In the hole in the bottom of the Gulf.

Now that the rig is gone (dum, dum, da dum, dum, dum, da dum)

There's now a dome for the drill in the hole
in the pipe in the hole in the bottom of the Gulf,
There's now a dome for the drill in the hole
in the pipe in the hole in the bottom of the Gulf,
There's now a dome, there's now a dome,
There's now a dome for the drill in the hole
in the pipe in the hole in the bottom of the Gulf.

But the dome failed (twice!) so... (dum, dum, da, dum, dum dum, da, dum)

"Cutting cost" led to the hole in the bottom of the Gulf,
"Cutting cost" led to the hole in the bottom of the Gulf,
They were cutting cost, They were cutting cost,
"Cutting cost" led to the hole in the bottom of the Gulf.

They ignored proper drilling procedure to "cut cost" which led to the
hole in the bottom of the Gulf,
They ignored proper drilling procedure to "cut cost" which led to the
hole in the bottom of the Gulf,
They ignored (to "cut cost"!), they ignored (to "cut cost"),
They ignored proper drilling procedure to "cut cost" which led to the
hole in the bottom of the Gulf!

Now we can't fish due to the hole in the pipe in the hole in the bottom of the Gulf,
Now we can't fish due to the hole in the pipe in the hole in the bottom of the Gulf,
We can't fish (bad drilling!), we can't fish (bad drilling!),
Now we can't fish due to the hole in the pipe in the hole in the bottom of the Gulf.

Post comments, likes, or hate mail. And it's dumb to hate it; I made a parody of a song depicting what has happened. BP let an executive make what should have been an ENGINEERING decision (because execs OBVIOUSLY have years and years more engineering knowledge than the ones they hired) that ultimately cost the lives of at least 11 oil rig workers, destroyed a large part of the eco-system of the Gulf (probably irreversibly if you should get to brass tacks about it, especially since it's going to be MONTHS before we can effectively plug the hole), and endangered if not irreversibly damaged all fishing in the Gulf of Mexico. Oh, and the "dumb part" you ask? I don't know about you, but I got my 'learnin' through the Mississippi Board of Education, and even in my junior high school science classes we discussed the corrosive aspects of SEAWATER. Really? Seawater? Since when has water EVER been a lubricant? A coolant, yeah but not for a heavy duty drill (easy experiment to try if you don't believe me) unless you are using an open system, but as lube? Stick one hand in plain water and then vigorously rub them together. Doesn't really act as a lubricant, does it? Now add salt water. Notice something? When the water evaporates, it leaves SALT CRYSTALS. Which can eventually grind into and cut metal.

[soapbox]
See guys; I believe God (or Nature for you aetheists and agnostics out there) put us in charge of taking care of and perserving all life on this planet. And I say this not in a hippie sort of sense but in a plain "I've lived in the woods and done my share of veggie planting" sense. We take care of the Earth and it'll give back to us. What happens when you stop taking care of the Earth, but let business decide what is right and just?

Ultimately, business does not care about you, the environment, or even the customer. Business is concerned with making money, and as much as possible. It's up to us to tell business what line it cannot cross, what lives we are not willing to sacrifice in the name of the almighty dollar/yen/euro; and that if it ultimately wants to make money, business will have to stick to the rules and take care of both the people that work for it and the environment we are constantly borrowing from.

[/soapbox]